It's been a while since I've posted anything. My bipolar has really been kicking my butt. I had a few depressive episodes and wasn't really able to post anything. My pdoc doubled my meds and we're hoping they work. Unfortunately, with bp meds, you don't REALLY know if they work or not until you get another depressive episode. So they SEEM to be working. But I don't know for sure. It's scary way to live, but I won't live my life in fear. I'm trying to look past it and just keep on keeping on. There's always the option of going up to 300 mg. But if this med doesn't work, we have to try the scary meds. Like lithium. With lithium, they have to take your blood often to make sure the medication isn't poisoning your body. That's not my idea of a good time.
On a positive note, I got a new stroller! I might have a tiny stroller addiction. My old Combi, which I loved, was starting to crack a little. And it's not great for rough terrain. So we donated that one. I was sad to see it go. We still had the snap n go for the infant seat (which doesn't work because she's too fat for the infant seat) and the Emmaljunga stroller. The Emma is amazing but not really portable. So I found a Phil & Ted with a double kit online! We went to PG county and bought it for $100! That's a nice stroller! I've wanted a Phil & Ted since before I had kids! So baby fits in it really nicely and the double kid kind of makes it very resellable when she grows out of it. It's a total win!
As for the religious thing, I still continue to be baffled by Christianity as a whole. I don't think it's something I'm ever going to fully understand. I still have to google half the words I read and people say. It's like there's some special Christian language that people grow up with and they just expect everyone to know. Well I don't know it! And it really confuses me. Hubs is still trying to learn and grow as much as he can. He wants to do church and all that. I go along and try and support him. The sermons are usually understandable for the most part. I have this bible app thing on my phone and I try to read a little bit from their "plans" every day. Lately, with the depressive episodes, I haven't been able to really read that stuff. It's not, as a friend put it, light reading. So I've been trying to distract myself from myself and reading books instead.
The diet is still going. I'm not sure I have enough of the shot to last until it's supposed to. I have 4 needles left which means I should have 4 days of the shot. In the jar thing it sure doesn't look like 4 days of the shot. I wonder if I've been using it wrong.... I don't know. It looks like maybe I have one day left. I'm hoping there's 2 days because I can't be doing the maintenance phase on a driving day. I need at least a few days to try it before I drive while doing it! The maintenance phase requires calorie counting and thinking. I kind of want to just stay on the 500 calories a day thing. That's no thinking at all. Drink water, 4 oz of protein, hand full of veg, twice a day, 2 fruits. Easy peasy. The other one you have a calorie range and you have to try and get 30 grams of protein every meal. And you're eating 3 meals. But this is the most important part because it's resetting your hypothalamus to not suck.
I've lost a total of almost 40 lbs! When I say almost 40 lbs, I mean I'm .8 lbs away from 40 lbs lost! And I haven't even started the maintenance phase! During that phase you're allowed to exercise. So I'm gonna use that stroller and try to walk every day. Hopefully I don't get asphyxiated by all the smokers. Ew. Maybe drive to a trail after taking kids to school and walking in the afternoon with the kids when we're in MD. I don't know how the weather is going to hold out in PA, but here's hoping! I fit into a lot of things now. I've lost weight before but only in a few places. The nice thing about this diet is that I have lost weight EVERYWHERE! I used to have a problem with things fitting me because my stupid shoulders were too broad. Things fit me again! So I can buy a raincoat and just walk in the rain with the babes. Hopefully we can still walk in the winter too! I'm looking forward to it. I've found with the low cal phase of the diet, any physical activity actually slows weight loss. So sitting like a lump is better than doing much. I'm actually looking forward to not sitting like a lump. Hopefully that'll help ward of depression too. Though it will make it even harder to tell if the meds are working.
The dr said that I could use another 10 ish lbs during the maintenance phase. Honestly I was hoping for 40 lbs total including both phases. It seems like that is going to be a reality! Like it's actually doable! So I'm really excited!
I have been having peeling fingers and feet the last few weeks. The doctor ordered a thyroid test again. Might have to bump it up again. And he checked my cholesterol. I want to see how my levels have changed since losing so much weight and being on the krill oil supplement.
Today is my oldest son's birthday. He's 12 years old today! Kind of shocks me that I have a kid that old! I usually do a photo album update thing on Facebook but I haven't gotten a picture of him yet! He has a friend over and they're upstairs playing :)
Our new doctor (the same one who does the diet with me) did physicals for all the kids. They have a conference room for large families. I think doctors in an area with a large Mennonite population is definitely the way to go! He did the check ups and had only nice things to say. Which is quite a change from all the traditional doctors who had nothing but gloom and doom. He did say that we should try and limit gluten for the kids. Hubs is taking that to mean cut out completely and is reading stuff about gut damage and all that. And now he's trying to cut out gmo corn and soy. He said something about how the gmo damages the gut so gluten leaks into the blood stream and screws people up. So he's been gung how about trying to cut out gluten entirely. I'm not sure that needs to be done, but whatever works. It's a challenge for cooking and I like that :) Except I'm not making my own pie crusts. That's a major pain in the ass and when they have decent ones ready made? You better believe it that I'm gonna buy it.
Now the kids have migrated downstairs and are all playing Minecraft downstairs. :) I should start some cookies!
On a positive note, I got a new stroller! I might have a tiny stroller addiction. My old Combi, which I loved, was starting to crack a little. And it's not great for rough terrain. So we donated that one. I was sad to see it go. We still had the snap n go for the infant seat (which doesn't work because she's too fat for the infant seat) and the Emmaljunga stroller. The Emma is amazing but not really portable. So I found a Phil & Ted with a double kit online! We went to PG county and bought it for $100! That's a nice stroller! I've wanted a Phil & Ted since before I had kids! So baby fits in it really nicely and the double kid kind of makes it very resellable when she grows out of it. It's a total win!
As for the religious thing, I still continue to be baffled by Christianity as a whole. I don't think it's something I'm ever going to fully understand. I still have to google half the words I read and people say. It's like there's some special Christian language that people grow up with and they just expect everyone to know. Well I don't know it! And it really confuses me. Hubs is still trying to learn and grow as much as he can. He wants to do church and all that. I go along and try and support him. The sermons are usually understandable for the most part. I have this bible app thing on my phone and I try to read a little bit from their "plans" every day. Lately, with the depressive episodes, I haven't been able to really read that stuff. It's not, as a friend put it, light reading. So I've been trying to distract myself from myself and reading books instead.
The diet is still going. I'm not sure I have enough of the shot to last until it's supposed to. I have 4 needles left which means I should have 4 days of the shot. In the jar thing it sure doesn't look like 4 days of the shot. I wonder if I've been using it wrong.... I don't know. It looks like maybe I have one day left. I'm hoping there's 2 days because I can't be doing the maintenance phase on a driving day. I need at least a few days to try it before I drive while doing it! The maintenance phase requires calorie counting and thinking. I kind of want to just stay on the 500 calories a day thing. That's no thinking at all. Drink water, 4 oz of protein, hand full of veg, twice a day, 2 fruits. Easy peasy. The other one you have a calorie range and you have to try and get 30 grams of protein every meal. And you're eating 3 meals. But this is the most important part because it's resetting your hypothalamus to not suck.
I've lost a total of almost 40 lbs! When I say almost 40 lbs, I mean I'm .8 lbs away from 40 lbs lost! And I haven't even started the maintenance phase! During that phase you're allowed to exercise. So I'm gonna use that stroller and try to walk every day. Hopefully I don't get asphyxiated by all the smokers. Ew. Maybe drive to a trail after taking kids to school and walking in the afternoon with the kids when we're in MD. I don't know how the weather is going to hold out in PA, but here's hoping! I fit into a lot of things now. I've lost weight before but only in a few places. The nice thing about this diet is that I have lost weight EVERYWHERE! I used to have a problem with things fitting me because my stupid shoulders were too broad. Things fit me again! So I can buy a raincoat and just walk in the rain with the babes. Hopefully we can still walk in the winter too! I'm looking forward to it. I've found with the low cal phase of the diet, any physical activity actually slows weight loss. So sitting like a lump is better than doing much. I'm actually looking forward to not sitting like a lump. Hopefully that'll help ward of depression too. Though it will make it even harder to tell if the meds are working.
The dr said that I could use another 10 ish lbs during the maintenance phase. Honestly I was hoping for 40 lbs total including both phases. It seems like that is going to be a reality! Like it's actually doable! So I'm really excited!
I have been having peeling fingers and feet the last few weeks. The doctor ordered a thyroid test again. Might have to bump it up again. And he checked my cholesterol. I want to see how my levels have changed since losing so much weight and being on the krill oil supplement.
Today is my oldest son's birthday. He's 12 years old today! Kind of shocks me that I have a kid that old! I usually do a photo album update thing on Facebook but I haven't gotten a picture of him yet! He has a friend over and they're upstairs playing :)
Our new doctor (the same one who does the diet with me) did physicals for all the kids. They have a conference room for large families. I think doctors in an area with a large Mennonite population is definitely the way to go! He did the check ups and had only nice things to say. Which is quite a change from all the traditional doctors who had nothing but gloom and doom. He did say that we should try and limit gluten for the kids. Hubs is taking that to mean cut out completely and is reading stuff about gut damage and all that. And now he's trying to cut out gmo corn and soy. He said something about how the gmo damages the gut so gluten leaks into the blood stream and screws people up. So he's been gung how about trying to cut out gluten entirely. I'm not sure that needs to be done, but whatever works. It's a challenge for cooking and I like that :) Except I'm not making my own pie crusts. That's a major pain in the ass and when they have decent ones ready made? You better believe it that I'm gonna buy it.
Now the kids have migrated downstairs and are all playing Minecraft downstairs. :) I should start some cookies!
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